Whitney Houston Funeral DVD On Sale Now!

Hey America, act now and purchase the Official Whitney Houston Funeral DVD, which was aired on every “news” channel the morning of February 18, 2012.  Running time: 4 hours/ Bonus features include:

Audio Commentary by party friends (aka Enablers). Listen as they explain how they let their golden goose party all week long before her death!
 
Trivia! Can you name Whitney Houston’s last recorded song? That’s okay, nobody can! But we’re all such BIG fans.
 
Music videos! These antiquated art pieces showcased popular songs of their day.
 
Crack is Whack – a documentary about celebrities and their super awesome health care provider network. Never before scene footage of below-average physicians working with the world’s most famous (and important) people.
 
An essay by the Reverend Jesse Jackson “Yes, I Will Be At Every Televised Funeral”

On sale now for $29.99 you cheap bastards.

Related: Celebrity Mortality Rates Skyrocket

Advertisements

Obama: “We’re Not Going to Be Bullied!” Reality Responds: “Um, Yes You Are.”

Bon Jovi superfan and presidential candidate Barack Obama today said that his campaign “would not be bullied.” He issued this statement at a Bon Jovi concernt, in front of dozens of NJ residents.

Obama can hear music five miles away
Obama can hear music 5 miles away.

When asked to name his favorite Bon Jovi song, Obama responded: “Living On A Prayer, of course. A Christian prayer, by the way, because I am a Christian and nothing else.”

In 2004, Bon Jovi helped John Kerry all the way to 2nd Place in the Presidential contest!
In 2004, rocker Bon Jovi helped John Kerry all the way to 2nd Place in the Presidential contest!

Obama added that they were not going to be smeared or lied about.

The McCain / Palin campaign responded quickly. “Once again, Barack Obama is wrong. He was wrong on the war, wrong on the surge, and he is wrong at the Bon Jovi concert. He will, in fact, be bullied, smeared, and lied about. That’s what we do and that’s what they do. It’s called politics and, like making sausage, it gets kinda ugly.”

Later, a reporter was able to ask vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin what her favorite Bon Jovi song was, and she responded without hesitation. “Thank You For Loving Me.”

Sarah Palin - Slippery When Wet? Or just a Blaze of Glory?
Sarah Palin - Slippery When Wet? Or just a Blaze of Glory?

Other candidates weighed in.

Joe Biden: “No idea who Bon Jovi is, sorry.”

John McCain: “Let me get back to you on this. I have seven of their albums, I’m just not sure which ones.”