Sarah Palin Speech Preview – No Teleprompter, Blindfolded, Earplugs.

Republican party officials confirmed today that Vice Presidential nominee Sarah Palin will present her speech this evening using no teleprompter and while wearing a Alaska State Flag blindfold and earplugs.

“This speech is going to be easy for her. She’s totally relaxed,” one official stated. “We are not worried at all. She memorized the speech yesterday while shopping for maternity clothes for her daughter.” He added that they other issues to be worried about, like Palin’s as-of-now unnamed, married cousin, who is expecting twins, despite only living in a two-bedroom apartment in Anchorage. “We are concerned the Democrats will use this as an issue against Palin.”

Palin did meet the cousin twice in the past five years at two separate family gatherings and is said to have said “how are you?” to the younger 25-year-old cousin, causing concern within Republican ranks that the Alaskan Governor is too closely tied to her cousin, who has no plans to move to a larger living space.

Crazy prediction: Sarah Palin drops out

While not funny and not photoshopped, I thought I’d share a possible scenario with this presidential campaign and election:

John McCain’s selection for Vice President, Sarah Palin, enjoys the spotlight for a few weeks, does the campaign thing, but eventually changes her mind and asks to be removed from the ticket, for whatever reason (kids, criticism, etc). Then, McCain selects someone with more experience, more age, and moves forward with campaign and wins the election. (Yeah, I know she just joined the campaign, but stranger things have happened!)

Why would this happen?

Her brief stint as a VP selection would serve to steal some of the media attention for a few days from Obama/Biden, following his historic speech, raise a lot of money from happy conservatives, and draw out the mean-spirited critiques of Sarah Palin, which might serve McCain’s to advantage as some may be turned off by Democratic attacks of the first Republican woman to be picked for the VP slot.

If this did happen, I don’t know if it would have been pre-planned, but it’s something to consider if one was cynical enough. I’m posting this so I can look prophetic. I am very impressed with this guy, who started a “Palin for VP” blog back in February 2007 – talk about being ahead of the pack. If Palin resigns, I want the media calling me.


A portion of what I wrote in the Comments section re: this post:

When I wrote the post, I was only practicing cynicism, half-heartedly, following a phone call with a friend about why she was picked; I said it would be an unusually wild plan – to throw out bait in the form of Palin, as it were, to stir up both sides for different reasons to their advantage (ie, Obama? where’d he go? It’s all Palin, all the time now), and then pull her back and proceed with someone else. On purpose. Maybe Ashton Kutcher will hold a press conference with John McCain and yell “You’ve been punk’d!” Now, I don’t think this is true, but doing this ACCIDENTALLY isn’t out of the realm of possibilities!!

I’ll add this was posted before any of the idiotic smears showed up on the internet. I was just thinking of usual, expected political attacks that might allow for a big switch. Politics is mostly theater and this year it’s been amazing on both sides.

MORE UPDATE: Sunday evening, CNN’s Anderson Cooper blogs about a ‘what if’ Bobby Jindal had been selected – some of the comments relate to my own on this subject.

9/3/08 UPDATE:    Brief article on this possibility – the Prediction Market is taking bets on Palin withdrawing.

So, it is proven: I can write a few paragraphs without obvious and silly false statements and made-up photos afterall! (it’ll happen, the serious writing, but not often). — Mark