Obama’s New Slogan: FORWARD – oh, and a SINGLE point of LIGHT

ADVICE TO TEAM OBAMA – What looks like “one point of light,” ( rather than a thousand points of light, I suppose) also looks like a train headed straight…for…us.

Do I hear a train coming?

(here’s the obvious change-up on ‘FORWARD” – “FOREWARNED” that I see popping up everywhere – this is my version – you’re welcome to it)

Of course I just completed this “Forewarned” version of Team Obama’s new slogan, and then Googled it to see others already made. oh well.  So, I include a still frame from my never-to-be-made cartoon titled “FORWARD meets CLIFF.

This I’m particularly proud of so a link back would be appreciated. I spent a lot of time drawing that cliff! (eat your heart out Shepard Fairey)

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Joe Biden: Why Can’t I Be Smeared!

Late Friday night, Delaware-not-Pennsylvania Senator and vice-presidential candidate Joe Biden complained to the press that absolutely nobody was investigating him. He admitted he was extremely disappointed that the McCain campaign had yet to send a team of lawyers to his home state to research his activities.

I wont be ignored. Senator Joe Biden wants his time in the spotlight to make a gaffe.
"I won't be ignored." Senator Joe Biden wants his time in the spotlight to make a gaffe.

“I have skeletons in my closet, people. I have a high IQ, so my skeletons are very smart. The closet is unlocked, too. Please, pick up the phone, find something out about me. I’m a baaad guy.”

Despite hundreds of hours of media spent on the Republican vice-presidential canddiate, Sarah Palin, Barack Obama’s choice has barely registered with the American voter.

“Give me time, and I promise, I will make a gaffe or say something so inappropriate that you’ll wonder why I’m not in prison. I’m a gaffe-making-machine – just turn me on!”

Biden said if needed, he would buy air time to reveal some of his awful decisions made while a U.S. Senator for over 30 years.

“I will pay to be smeared. That’s how serious I am about winning the vice-presidency.

“I’ve been here forever, and believe me, in what little I’ve done, there are plenty of scratch-your-head moments. Did you know I voted for the United States to bomb Canada during the Stanley Cup finals? I did. I’m a total f*ck up. Just look into it, for Chrissakes!”

Barack Obama couldn’t be reached for comment, according to his advisors. “He’s too busy emailing his suporters. Something John McCAin cannot do.”

Barack Obama: John McCain Can’t Send Email…McCain: I can IM like a mutha

Today, Barack Obama’s campaign unveiled an ad pointing out the fact that John McCain does not use email. OMG!

(Nevermind that John McCain cannot use a keyboard due to the injuries suffered as POW. Oops! I’ll leave that to the other sites to dissect)

Anyway, later the John McCain campaign, in response to the ad, released transcripts demonstrating that John McCain wasn’t big on email, but loved to IM.

Here, for example, was Senator McCain’s IM log from late 1999, to wife Cindy McCain:

McCain2000Prez4sure: yo, C, what’s up?

AZGirl54: not much. just chillin’. getting my eBay fix.

McCain200Prez4sure: Sweet. Hey, have U talked 2 the kidz?

AZGirl54: oh, wait. BRB.

McCain200Prez4sure: OK.

AZGirl54: I’m back. I talked 2 kids y-day.

McCain200Prez4sure: R they coming 2 the rally next week?

AZGirl54: Just 1/2 of them.

McCain200Prez4sure: Which 1s?

AZGirl54: Does it matter?

McCain200Prez4sure: No. LOL.

AZGirl54: LOL. Ooh. I just won some dishes. Do we have a PayPal account, yet?

McCain200Prez4sure: We do 🙂

AZGirl54: Gr8.

McCain200Prez4sure: R U going 2 join the St8t Talk Xpress 2moro?

AZGirl54: IDK. I’ll get back 2 U.

McCain200Prez4sure: GGN

AZGirl54: Bye.

John McCain can IM.
John McCain can IM.

Obama Collects $20 bet from Michelle, uses the phrase “my muslim faith” in interview, “lipstick on a pig” at rally gets him $200

UPDATE:

Michelle has offered to pay Obama $200 for the “lipstick on a pig” comment – see below for details of the couple’s ‘word game’ this campaign season! This most recent dare had Michelle Obama betting her husband, Barack, that he wouldn’t dare refer to Sarah Palin using “you can put lipstick on a pig, it’s still a pig”

Are you serious? He really said that?
Are you serious? He really said that?

On Sunday, Barack Obama won a bet from his wife Michelle Obama over whether he would use the phrase “my muslim faith” before the month of September ended.

The Obamas love a good laugh
The Obamas love a good laugh

“It was a challenge she presented to me, and I was up to it. Listen, I knew it would freak everyone out, but that’s just something we like to do!”

The presidential candidate pointed out that the couple has an ongoing game, daring each other to say outlandish things in the press during the campaign. The biggest prize was a $100 bet that Senator Obama lost when he challenged his wife to say “for the first time in my adult life, I’m proud of my country” earlier this year.

“She did it and I was all ‘I can’t believe you said that’ and she was all ‘believe it, brother.’ We love these games.

Other phrases that the couple dared each other to use include:

August 2008: “Who gives a shit about Canada?” (Michelle dared Barack to say this, which he didn’t, losing $15)

May 2008: “I drink too much” (Barack challenged his wife to use this at rally and she did. The media failed to report it and Barack had to shell out $50).

January 2008: “Is it hot in here or is it just me?” (again, Michelle challenged Barack to say this during the primary debates. Barack chickened out, and paid her $25).

All told, Michelle is up several hundred dollars in their little parlor game. The couple confesses they will continue the game through his presidential term, should he win.

“I’m going to win – it says so in the Koran.” Obama said, and laughed, acknowledging that last line will earn him $75 from Michelle.

Americans Already Bored with Same Old Alaska Governor Type

This week, a study of message board and comment posts across several hundred websites indicate that a growing number of Americans are already growing tired of the current Alaska Governor, Sarah Palin, and her attempts to lead the Republicans to the White House.

“So many Alaskan Governors think they know better,” one voter wrote on a message board that didn’t require a username/password. “Do they not get that Alaska and Hawaii are, like, totally far away and really don’t know what it’s like to be American.”

Sarah Palin, just one of many Alaskan Governors trying to mettle in American political affairs
Sarah Palin, just one of many Alaskan Governors trying to mettle in American political affairs

Another commenter, with 417 posts and an avatar of a laughing baby, vented to her fellow messageboarders: “From Walter Hickel to Bill Sheffeld, these Governors from this stupid state that is somewhere near Canada, think they know what’s best for the country. Why don’t they just stick with what they know – fishing, bears, and igloos.”

Governor Bill Sheffeld - just another know-it-all Governor thinking his state is part of the United States.
Governor Bill Sheffeld - one of the first know-it-all Alaskan Governors who believed his state really mattered to the rest of the country.

Obama campaign managers described the anti-Alaskan Governor trend as expected. “It’s something we saw in the numbers on our brand new Macs and wi-fi connection and clearly Alaska, as a state, needs to check itself before they wreck themselves. It’s like, just be glad we added you to the country. Don’t get greedy.”

Crazy prediction: Sarah Palin drops out

While not funny and not photoshopped, I thought I’d share a possible scenario with this presidential campaign and election:

John McCain’s selection for Vice President, Sarah Palin, enjoys the spotlight for a few weeks, does the campaign thing, but eventually changes her mind and asks to be removed from the ticket, for whatever reason (kids, criticism, etc). Then, McCain selects someone with more experience, more age, and moves forward with campaign and wins the election. (Yeah, I know she just joined the campaign, but stranger things have happened!)

Why would this happen?

Her brief stint as a VP selection would serve to steal some of the media attention for a few days from Obama/Biden, following his historic speech, raise a lot of money from happy conservatives, and draw out the mean-spirited critiques of Sarah Palin, which might serve McCain’s to advantage as some may be turned off by Democratic attacks of the first Republican woman to be picked for the VP slot.

If this did happen, I don’t know if it would have been pre-planned, but it’s something to consider if one was cynical enough. I’m posting this so I can look prophetic. I am very impressed with this guy, who started a “Palin for VP” blog back in February 2007 – talk about being ahead of the pack. If Palin resigns, I want the media calling me.

UPDATED:

A portion of what I wrote in the Comments section re: this post:

When I wrote the post, I was only practicing cynicism, half-heartedly, following a phone call with a friend about why she was picked; I said it would be an unusually wild plan – to throw out bait in the form of Palin, as it were, to stir up both sides for different reasons to their advantage (ie, Obama? where’d he go? It’s all Palin, all the time now), and then pull her back and proceed with someone else. On purpose. Maybe Ashton Kutcher will hold a press conference with John McCain and yell “You’ve been punk’d!” Now, I don’t think this is true, but doing this ACCIDENTALLY isn’t out of the realm of possibilities!!

I’ll add this was posted before any of the idiotic smears showed up on the internet. I was just thinking of usual, expected political attacks that might allow for a big switch. Politics is mostly theater and this year it’s been amazing on both sides.

MORE UPDATE: Sunday evening, CNN’s Anderson Cooper blogs about a ‘what if’ Bobby Jindal had been selected – some of the comments relate to my own on this subject.

9/3/08 UPDATE:    Brief article on this possibility – the Prediction Market is taking bets on Palin withdrawing.

So, it is proven: I can write a few paragraphs without obvious and silly false statements and made-up photos afterall! (it’ll happen, the serious writing, but not often). — Mark

Joe Biden Counters Sarah Palin choice with New Makeover!

Responding to the Republican candidate John McCain’s selection for Vice President, today longtime Senator Joseph Biden, of DelawarenotPennsylvania, revealed that he is actually younger than he has let on in the past. He is not 66 years old, but in fact 46, as seen in this new photo, released by the Obama campaign:

Without his aging disguise, Biden reveals a much younger man on the Obama Biden ticket
Without his age-disguise, Biden reveals a much younger man on the Obama Biden ticket (crude photoshop by mark wiberg)

“It’s true,” Biden said. “I’m 45. Or 46. Whatever. I lied about being older when I first ran for Senate because back then I was only 15.” He added that he has kept up the white, thin hair look long enough. “And I wear glasses just like she does. I am more experienced at wearing glasses, however. And I’m also a woman.”