Ronan Farrow Is Sooooooooo Smart

You might have seen this story about Woody Allen/Mia Farrow bio-kid Ronan Farrow tweeting a severe diss to his Allen:

Oy vey!

Maybe well deserved. For many, Woody Allen is straight-up creepy and unfunny. For others, he is just straight up creepy and funny. And for some, he is not creepy, but still funny.

I’d say Ronan has every right to tweet, given the basics of his family history (ronans’ dad left his mom to begin a new relationship with ronan’s adopted sister – mom and and were never married but still, weird. throw in child abuse accusations for more drama).  Anyway, Twitter is where it’s at. That’s what smart people do – tweet (#getafuckinglife). Every mention of Ronan says how smart he is and he obviously is – he started college at age 11, and, later, was a Rhodes Scholar (#dork) and now does a bunch of important stuff with the government (speechifying and global community organizin’) – we all know when you want to make a difference, working through the State Department is the way to go (#circlejerk). Just ask Syria!  Although, if he was so smart, he would have invented Facebook.

Back to the tweet and what it reveals to anyone with a pulse:

1. He’s mad at Daddy. Not because he remembers being hurt by Daddy, but also because he has been raised by his Mommy/Mia Farrow (aka Mother Earth) to hate him.  Nothing new here. Eventually one might get tired of a parent telling you what to think (or you get upset realizing that you’ve been programmed – right or wrong, it’s still annoying). Plenty of people are raised by a single parent who hates their ex because they ran off when one of the kids. I read about it all the time on Slate’s Dear Prudence. Of course, most single parents don’talso adopt a kid every week, which goes to point 2.

2. He is probably increasingly more aware that his mom is a little crazy and so that just makes his situation more frustrating, raising the anger level.  The most likely reason he went to college early was to get away (#bitchbecrazy)!  Mia makes Brangelina look childless, she adopts so many kids.  Like Woody Allen, Mia Farrow is apparently a homewrecker, having started an affair with a married man, Andre Previn, a fancy-pants musician. Farrow got pregnant (#devilspawn), and Andre left his wife for her. Something the media doesn’t talk about.  So, if you’re Ronan, and you’ve read Wikipedia, you’re thinking, ‘shit, my dad’s a creep, and my mom is an angry little hypocrite. FML!”

3. Posting on Twitter means he KNOWS it will reach Woody Allen (#passiveaggressive).  In a weird way, he is communicating with his dad and nobody else. He has not heard of email, I guess. Not really knowing anything about their whole family drama, I wonder how much communication they have or had years ago after visitations ended (#miniseriesplease!).  Of course, the tweet is  a joke his own dad would have written years ago.

3. Ronan Farrow is about 25 years old. Why now with the Twitter?  Maybe he’s new to Twitter so he’s catching up on all his witty one-liners’ about his old man (#woodyismypops). If he was soooo smart, he would save all this shit for a tell-all book, called Dreams of My Father 2: Payback’s a Bitch Named Soon Yi!  (btw, does Ronan talk to Soon Yi? Uh, probably not). But alas, Ronan has been appointed by the Obama Administration to assist in issues related to the youth and so what does that leave any government official, but loads of time to tweet and work out their personal issues online, 140 characters at a time. When Government Officials tweeet, what could go wrong (#anthonyweinersweiner).

Who knows what Ronan was thinking. I think if my Mom changed my name to ‘Ronan’ I would be pissed about it forever. And if I was a boy genius who grew up to be a BORING fucking diplomat, I’d probably start spending time on Twitter, also. Exhibit A: Ronan firing up the U.N. about youth issues.

That’s right kids – this guy’s fighting for you! All Together Now: “Let’s Go – Children! Let’s Go -Children!”

Good luck, Ronan!  (#unfocusedblogpost)

If I Were A Horrible Headline Writer…

if I were a horrible headline writer….

“ACORN Goes Nuts Over Videos!”

Raise Up Off these Nuts, Acorn Rep says”

Dude Who Married One-Legged Gold-Digger Releases Rock Band Video Game”

“Ex-Prez Says Peanut Butter Hates Chocolate”

slow night, but these came to mind so I thought I’d post ’em.

Uncovered! Partial transcript of Barack Obama’s birth delivery!

(so I was trolling the internet and discovered, through my ultra-sick computer skills, a document that appears to be an excerpt of a transcript of what occurred in the delivery room where Obama was born…)

AUGUST 4, 1961,Kapiolani Maternity & Gynecological Hospital.:

NURSE: Push!
STANLEY (Obama’s mother): I am!
NURSE: I said push, you American woman, you!
STANLEY: I am pushing. I’m pushing my American baby out in this Hawaiin hospital!
BARACK, SR: Hurry up, or I’m gonna miss My Three Sons. That is an American show I love to watch.
NURSE: Push, lady!
STANLEY: I’m trying!
BARACK, SR: I’m calling the newspaper!
STANLEY: Wait! First fix that American flag we hung up over there on the wall.
BARACK, SR: Sure will! I am so glad my little baby is being born just 2 years after this great state joined the United States.
NURSE: Almost there. I can see the head. Looks American! It’s a boy! An American boy, born in Hawaii!
STANLEY: I want me some apple pie!!

(credit mark wiberg) – this is just a joke birthers, and anti-birthers. the real transcript is locked up in my trapper-keeper.

Vote. November 4, 2008

So today is the day to vote and in California that means you can vote on thousands of propositions that will improve the lives of every single person and animal. We have too much free time in California that everyone citizen is a legistlator. Fun!

No purple finger here! just a sticker....

No purple finger here! just a sticker….

I voted absentee last week, which sucked because I didn’t get a sticker that says “I Voted” and so I had to make a sticker that says “I Voted Last Week Suckers!”

Several thoughts: I find it amusing that the talking heads on cable tv (like the New Yorker’s Hendrik Hertzberg) says that never in his lifetime did he think an African-American would be elected for President. I believe this was on Nov 3rd, in the early morning hours on MSNBC.  That comment isn’t racist? It tells me that he thinks little of his fellow Americans – both in the abilities of African-Americans, and others who would vote for someone who was African-American. It must be generational, because it never occured to me that an African-American wouldn’t be elected.  Or maybe I just watch too much of Fox’s 24.

Just as there are plenty of stupid and egomaniacal white people who run for politicial office, there are plenty stupid and egomaniacal African-American, Hispanic-American, etc citizens willing to run for office.  The bottom line is that the best and the brightest steer away from politics and so I’m not too impressed with those who run for local, state and federal positions. Will having Obama as the next president be wonderful? Maybe. Maybe not. Same as any other president. And certainly it is a big deal for older Americans of all types who grew up in a time where African-Americans were treated so horribly – it must seem like a dream made real, and you can’t help but appreciate that fact.   I would have preferred a different person fill that dream, but oh well.

Whoever wins, I wish them good luck.  But not too much luck, because they want too much of my money, and Obama and McCain, along with the Senate and House, are not creative enough to really solve anything.

Oh – and if McCain happens to win, don’t freak out. Don’t start a blog. Take it a like an adult.  Read a history book. The world will not end if your guy (either party) doesn’t win. I know this because I had a dream five years ago that informed the world will end in 2022 when the Dinosaurs return.

And, if anyone reads this, remember to vote, especially on the local and state stuff – sometimes this affects you more than the federal stuff, at least on a day-to-day basis (trans-fats, cell phones, gas taxes, bonds, etc…)

Americans Already Bored with Same Old Alaska Governor Type

This week, a study of message board and comment posts across several hundred websites indicate that a growing number of Americans are already growing tired of the current Alaska Governor, Sarah Palin, and her attempts to lead the Republicans to the White House.

“So many Alaskan Governors think they know better,” one voter wrote on a message board that didn’t require a username/password. “Do they not get that Alaska and Hawaii are, like, totally far away and really don’t know what it’s like to be American.”

Sarah Palin, just one of many Alaskan Governors trying to mettle in American political affairs
Sarah Palin, just one of many Alaskan Governors trying to mettle in American political affairs

Another commenter, with 417 posts and an avatar of a laughing baby, vented to her fellow messageboarders: “From Walter Hickel to Bill Sheffeld, these Governors from this stupid state that is somewhere near Canada, think they know what’s best for the country. Why don’t they just stick with what they know – fishing, bears, and igloos.”

Governor Bill Sheffeld - just another know-it-all Governor thinking his state is part of the United States.
Governor Bill Sheffeld - one of the first know-it-all Alaskan Governors who believed his state really mattered to the rest of the country.

Obama campaign managers described the anti-Alaskan Governor trend as expected. “It’s something we saw in the numbers on our brand new Macs and wi-fi connection and clearly Alaska, as a state, needs to check itself before they wreck themselves. It’s like, just be glad we added you to the country. Don’t get greedy.”