Wasilla, AK Mayor Dianne Keller to follow Sarah Palin – aims for the White House!

Sept 2, 2008. Wasilla, AK (MW):

Current mayor of Wasilla, Dianne Keller, has today announced her intention to run for Vice president of the United States in 2016. In her statement, she said she has “totally big plans and stuff” for when she occupies the Vice Presidency.

Mayor Dianne Keller and future Vice Presidential candidate
Mayor Dianne Keller and future Vice Presidential candidate

With all the attention former Mayor Sarah Palin has received as John McCain’s pick for vice president, Mayor Keller has been able to quietly form a committee designed to get her into the White House in 2016. She has 12 years of city council and mayorship experience and so is currently more qualified than either Sarah Palin or presidential hopeful Barack Obama, according to local Alaskans.

Although it is 2008, Diane Keller is a politician who prefers to remember the past – keeping the 2006 Mission and Goals statement on the website as of today.

“The past is where it’s at,” Keller said. “That is why, like, when I am elected Vice President in 2016, I’m going to make sure that everything is done like it was two years prior. That we freeze time for two years.”

Keller describes her self as a radical independent. “I will totally vote or not vote for someone, and I don’t care what any of them down at Chepo’s say.”

A private person, Keller says she has already been vetted by none other than former Senator Fred Thompson. “Yeah, he called me and said in 8 years he will be ancient enough to run for the presidency and he would consider me for vice presidency but that I gotta clear up some bills I have at the Fred Meyer’s.”

Obama and Palin phone call: transcript revealed!

On Friday, August 29, Senator Obama telephoned Governor Palin after John McCain selected her as his vice-president nominee, wishing her luck, but not too much. Here’s the transcript:

Obama: Hello, Sarah?

Palin: Yes, this is Sarah Barracuda.

Obama: It’s me, Obama.

Palin: What’s up?

Obama: Not much. Just working the campaign trail.

Palin. That’s so awesome! Hey, can you wait a sec? I have to put Trig down.

Obama: Sure.

(20 seconds of muzak)

Palin: Okay, I’m back.

Obama: Hey, good luck with your campaign.

Palin: Thanks!

Obama: But not too much luck! (chuckles)

Palin: Excuse me? “Not too much luck?” What the heck does that mean? What the heck are you saying, sir?

Obama: You know ‘not too much luck.’ It’s a joke. Listen, I was kidding.

Palin: Why would you call someone to wish them partial luck? Are you sick?

Obama: No, I’m not sick, it’s just, you know, it’s “good luck and all” but it’s not like I really want you to win this thing.

Palin: You don’t? But you called to wish me luck?

Obama: Partial luck.

Palin: What is wrong with you, sir?

Obama: Nothing. Listen, I’m sorry.

Palin: Really? Are you sorry or partially sorry.


Palin: Hello, Senator?

Obama: Partially sorry, I guess.

Palin: I thought so. Y’know, Senator Obama, I appreciate the phone call but my other Blackberry is ringing. Good day.

Palin: Hello, this is Sarah Barracuda.

Joe Biden: Hey, Sarah. It’s Joe.

Palin: Who?

Biden: Joe Biden – senator from Delaware. The state with more people than Alaska? Near Maryland.

Palin: I’m not familiar with either of those counties, but go ahead.

Biden: I just wanted to call and wish you good luck.

Palin: Well, that’s very nice of you.

Biden: But not too much luck! (chuckles)


(by mark wiberg)

McCain picks Sarah Palin, “Cradle of Love” rock video girl, for VP!

Sarah Palin, current governor of Alaska, is apparently John McCain’s selection for his vice-presidential pick. Palin first got her start as the nerd-turned-hot dancer in the Billy Idol music video “Cradle of Love.” I think. I could be wrong. I’ll have to watch the music video a few more hundred times to be sure.

Sarah in the 1980s.
Sarah in the 1980s.

Sarah now:

Sarah Palin is more blue-collar than Joe Biden (she’s even wearing a blue collar here, to prove it!). She hunts moose, for example- with her bare hands.