Vote. November 4, 2008

So today is the day to vote and in California that means you can vote on thousands of propositions that will improve the lives of every single person and animal. We have too much free time in California that everyone citizen is a legistlator. Fun!

No purple finger here! just a sticker....

No purple finger here! just a sticker….

I voted absentee last week, which sucked because I didn’t get a sticker that says “I Voted” and so I had to make a sticker that says “I Voted Last Week Suckers!”

Several thoughts: I find it amusing that the talking heads on cable tv (like the New Yorker’s Hendrik Hertzberg) says that never in his lifetime did he think an African-American would be elected for President. I believe this was on Nov 3rd, in the early morning hours on MSNBC.  That comment isn’t racist? It tells me that he thinks little of his fellow Americans – both in the abilities of African-Americans, and others who would vote for someone who was African-American. It must be generational, because it never occured to me that an African-American wouldn’t be elected.  Or maybe I just watch too much of Fox’s 24.

Just as there are plenty of stupid and egomaniacal white people who run for politicial office, there are plenty stupid and egomaniacal African-American, Hispanic-American, etc citizens willing to run for office.  The bottom line is that the best and the brightest steer away from politics and so I’m not too impressed with those who run for local, state and federal positions. Will having Obama as the next president be wonderful? Maybe. Maybe not. Same as any other president. And certainly it is a big deal for older Americans of all types who grew up in a time where African-Americans were treated so horribly – it must seem like a dream made real, and you can’t help but appreciate that fact.   I would have preferred a different person fill that dream, but oh well.

Whoever wins, I wish them good luck.  But not too much luck, because they want too much of my money, and Obama and McCain, along with the Senate and House, are not creative enough to really solve anything.

Oh – and if McCain happens to win, don’t freak out. Don’t start a blog. Take it a like an adult.  Read a history book. The world will not end if your guy (either party) doesn’t win. I know this because I had a dream five years ago that informed the world will end in 2022 when the Dinosaurs return.

And, if anyone reads this, remember to vote, especially on the local and state stuff – sometimes this affects you more than the federal stuff, at least on a day-to-day basis (trans-fats, cell phones, gas taxes, bonds, etc…)

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Joe Biden: I love Me Some Pig – don’t listen to the other guy

Today Joe Biden condemned his fellow Senator’s remarks, referring to Sarah Palin as a pig with lipstick.

“Let’s just get one thing clear. I love pigs. With or without lipstick. Barack doesn’t and I don’t know why. He’s weird, okay.”

I cant believe Im on this ticket
Joe hearts Pigs

BONUS MATERIAL: Predictable, extremist commentary: You know who else doesn’t like pigs? Muslims! Oh MY GOD! That’s proof that Barack is a muslim!!!!!! He doesn’t like pigs, aka Pork!!!!! I am totally forwarding this to my friends.

August Round-Up – the stuff you might have missed

I’ve been heavily blogging all my little joke posts this past week and having a blast. Thanks for visiting.

Here’s some of the more popular posts from the past few days:

The Cradle of Love post – this silly one hit a nerve – is possible VP Sarah Palin the hottie in the Billy Idol music video Cradle of Love? Uh, no. Damn!

Joe Biden – changed man. A quick photoshop joke.

And here are some posts that were comparatively overlooked (probably because there were not many pictures):

My summaries of the DNC speeches.

Obama, Biden, and Bill Clinton, and Hillary.

I’ll keep up with the Republican convention this week, as well, so please return!

Ray Nagin’s all “we’re oscar mike on the Chocolate City” New Orleans.

Today, super mayor Ray Nagin told everyone to “get your butts moving out of New Orleans.” Then he added that he’d stay behind in the NO (aka Chocolate City) and keep things chill because that’s how he rolls.

General Ray Nagin. Get some! We're 'oscar mike!'.

And Michael Moore’s God loves hurricanes and so answered his prayers this weekend and Hurricane Gustav is bearing down on the gulf states and the upcoming Republican Convention (check your local listings – it might be covered). Moore can put away his Viagra because this hurricane and upcoming convention is probably already getting him harder than a Cindy McCain-owned diamond. Gross, I know, and I apologize for the imagery.

DNC, Obama speech, Stadium Barackadium

so Obama takes the stage and says to the 80,000 people in attendence: “Build me an army, worthy of Mordor….” then he’s all ‘gotchya!’ and goes into how he wants to save the world, when we all know that if he just saves the cheerleader, he can do that. And he goes through his list of things to get done – his “Honey Do” list, as it were, only it’s more than fixing the goddamn sink or mowing that dead patch of weeds you call a yard. No, he’s got world peace, the economy and the big digital television changeover in February to worry about.
He tells the world he knows how to handle terrorists because he has read half of Tom Clancy’s Clear and Present Danger back when he was a community leader leading the community to lead others in the community. He will personally go after Osama Bin Laden like a crazy ex and, in an obvious gesture to middle America (NASCAR) fans, he ends the speech – “America, if you ain’t first, you are last!!! Everybody applauds and yells “Shake and Bake, Obama!” and he’s all “yeah, yeah, you know it.”

And then he looks into the camera and he addresses all the bad guys in the world and he says “bad guys, you better watch out, because there is a new sheriff in town. A black sheriff. And if you saw Blazing Saddles, you know you are in for a world of pain. You can pee on our rug, but you can expect a response!”

Finally, he tells John McCain – he says “John, if you’re still awake, hear me good, old man, you better just stay home and watch Wheel of Fortune and put a reverse mortgage on your seven homes and live comfortably, because I am gonna win this election, so help me God. And by God, I mean the dude in the Holy Bible, and not anywhere else like, say, Islam, which I have never even friggin’ heard of until I ran for President. True that. Oh, it’s a religion, you say? Well, I’m sorry, I’m a Christian, in case you didn’t know. Peace out!”