Sarah Palin Speech Preview – No Teleprompter, Blindfolded, Earplugs.

Republican party officials confirmed today that Vice Presidential nominee Sarah Palin will present her speech this evening using no teleprompter and while wearing a Alaska State Flag blindfold and earplugs.

“This speech is going to be easy for her. She’s totally relaxed,” one official stated. “We are not worried at all. She memorized the speech yesterday while shopping for maternity clothes for her daughter.” He added that they other issues to be worried about, like Palin’s as-of-now unnamed, married cousin, who is expecting twins, despite only living in a two-bedroom apartment in Anchorage. “We are concerned the Democrats will use this as an issue against Palin.”

Palin did meet the cousin twice in the past five years at two separate family gatherings and is said to have said “how are you?” to the younger 25-year-old cousin, causing concern within Republican ranks that the Alaskan Governor is too closely tied to her cousin, who has no plans to move to a larger living space.

Ray Nagin’s all “we’re oscar mike on the Chocolate City” New Orleans.

Today, super mayor Ray Nagin told everyone to “get your butts moving out of New Orleans.” Then he added that he’d stay behind in the NO (aka Chocolate City) and keep things chill because that’s how he rolls.

General Ray Nagin. Get some! We're 'oscar mike!'.

And Michael Moore’s God loves hurricanes and so answered his prayers this weekend and Hurricane Gustav is bearing down on the gulf states and the upcoming Republican Convention (check your local listings – it might be covered). Moore can put away his Viagra because this hurricane and upcoming convention is probably already getting him harder than a Cindy McCain-owned diamond. Gross, I know, and I apologize for the imagery.