Barack Obama: John McCain Can’t Send Email…McCain: I can IM like a mutha

Today, Barack Obama’s campaign unveiled an ad pointing out the fact that John McCain does not use email. OMG!

(Nevermind that John McCain cannot use a keyboard due to the injuries suffered as POW. Oops! I’ll leave that to the other sites to dissect)

Anyway, later the John McCain campaign, in response to the ad, released transcripts demonstrating that John McCain wasn’t big on email, but loved to IM.

Here, for example, was Senator McCain’s IM log from late 1999, to wife Cindy McCain:

McCain2000Prez4sure: yo, C, what’s up?

AZGirl54: not much. just chillin’. getting my eBay fix.

McCain200Prez4sure: Sweet. Hey, have U talked 2 the kidz?

AZGirl54: oh, wait. BRB.

McCain200Prez4sure: OK.

AZGirl54: I’m back. I talked 2 kids y-day.

McCain200Prez4sure: R they coming 2 the rally next week?

AZGirl54: Just 1/2 of them.

McCain200Prez4sure: Which 1s?

AZGirl54: Does it matter?

McCain200Prez4sure: No. LOL.

AZGirl54: LOL. Ooh. I just won some dishes. Do we have a PayPal account, yet?

McCain200Prez4sure: We do 🙂

AZGirl54: Gr8.

McCain200Prez4sure: R U going 2 join the St8t Talk Xpress 2moro?

AZGirl54: IDK. I’ll get back 2 U.

McCain200Prez4sure: GGN

AZGirl54: Bye.

John McCain can IM.
John McCain can IM.

Terminator 3 Robot Inspires Creation of Cindy McCain 3000 Robot

As the new Cindy McCain 3000 robot finds its way into the hearts of America, details behind the robot design can now be revealed. Designers admitted today that the T-X, from the masterpiece film Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, was the inspiration in creating the CM3K.

Rise of the McCains
Rise of the McCains - New Robot Wows America

Designers also admitted the the reported “broken wrist” was, in fact, a mechanical defect that had to be repaired in Reston, VA.

“The CM3K was designed in campaigning in mind, but we did not anticipate the amount of pressure placed on the robot limbs with all the handshaking,” reported one engineer.

The decision to go with the T-X design was an easy one. “We’re not going to build a politician’s wife to be ordinary. We wanted to go with a popular robot design and our research poll numbers indicated that the ‘hot’ model from the movie T3 was the way to go.”

Laura Bush Unveils new 3000 model of Cindy McCain robot

At the Republican National Convention, First Lady Laura Bush introduced to the world the latest in robotic science when she introduced the stylish Cindy McCain 3000. Outfitted in gold silk, the CM3K approached the podium, waving to the adoring crowd.

Laura Bush guides the Cindy McCain 3000 robot to the podium
Laura Bush guides the Cindy McCain 3000 robot to the podium

Fluent in only English and several Spanish words, the Cindy McCain 3000 robot has a 1TB hard-drive and 5 gb dual-processors, as well as audio and video processors allowing for basic communication and movement.

“I am very proud of my country,” and “Please welcome, John McCain” are two of 40,000 phrases programmed into the robot, which costs an estimated $23.5 million dollars. An ATM installed above the spleen allows CM3K owners to withdraw money in 10 different currencies, with no option for deposit.

The Cindy McCain 3000 promises to be an improvement over some of the earlier versions, including the original Cindy McCain98, which ran on Windows and was perceived as too severe.

Released in 1998, the Cindy McCain98 robot failed to meet expectations
Released in 1998, the Cindy McCain98 robot failed to meet expectations

UPDATE HERE on robot inspiration for CM3k.

Laura Bush disses Cindy McCain – refuses to sign cast

This past weekend, First Lady Laura Bush denied her possible successor’s request to have her wrist’s cast signed. It was earlier this summer that Cindy McCain broke her wrist in the Bronze Medal Round of the Beijing Olympics in the Shot Put competition.

Cindy McCain (right) with her unsigned cast.
Cindy McCain (right), with her unsigned cast, standing next to an agitated First Lady.

“Ask me all you want why I won’t sign it!” Mrs. Bush said later at a press conference, clearly irritated with reporters. “Ask it again, and I’ll come over there and kick your ass! I ain’t signing!”