All My Mad Max Fury Road jokes

Hi nerds,

I was posting some funny (maybe) jokes on FB the past week because my life is so damn awesome. I am posting them here so as to reach that one person in Brazil or France who finds my site.

JOKES:

1. Mad Max Fury Road was written/directed by a 70 year old. Last time I saw a 70 year-old involved with so many crazy car crashes I was at the Rite Aid parking lot. ‪#‎madmaxpharmacyroad‬

2. in the film Mad Max: Fury Road, Max has to drive across a desert wasteland with 5 women. Do you know how many bathroom stops that is?

3. in the film Mad Max: Fury Road, Max has to drive across a desert wasteland with 5 women. that’s 5 women yelling at him “Do you even KNOW where you are going? did you even read the map!?” ‪#‎1001madmaxjokesrighthere‬

4. thanks to Mad Max: Fury Road, when I see a truck hauling gasoline now I undo my seatbelt and begin crawling out of my car so that I can leap and take possession of all that fuel. ‪#‎madmark‬

5. In the movie Mad Max Fury Road, an old crazy white guy controls the water supply for his people….Gov Jerry Brown says that’s his favorite character. ‪#‎moonbeamwetdream‬ ‪#‎madmaxedoutjokes‬

6 (final). in the movie Mad Max: Fury Road, the main character….the main character is all….wait!…shit I can’t think of another mad max joke. I had a good run with those. According to FB, my Mad Max jokes reached over 9 people, which is, I think, the definition of ‘going viral’, so thank you. With the ad revenue generated from those joke posts, I’ve earned enough to visit Gas Town. And I don’t mean Taco Bell! (ha ha, suckas – you didn’t think I had another Mad Max joke – get outta here – never stop, never surrender)

That’s it – some clever, probably obvious jokes about THE best movie of the year so far – Mad Max: Fury Road.

Here’s a photo related to Mad Max: Fury Road (because I know people like photos)

this is what it sometimes feels like doing stand-up comedy

the Micro 3D Printer – my first impressions

On Wednesday 4/22 I received the Micro 3d Printer, via pledge from their Kickstarter last year.  I’m not an expert in 3d printing but did want to provide my first impression because I was amazed at the out-of-the box readiness of the printer. I have tinkered before with a rep-rap MakerFarm design 3D printing (slightly larger scale printer) but have found the heating bed to the biggest obstacle (i.e., getting the print object to stick to the bed – tape, hairspray, etc. nothing is consistently working). Again, I haven’t spent nearly enough time to be an expert and if I did, I’d probably solve the heating bed issue.

For the Micro 3D Printer, I wanted something that easily worked in every aspect (extruder, bed, software). Let someone with better skills build and manage it and figure it all out! Just let me print! So get this:  I began printing the first item about 15 minutes after opening the box. I purposely did not do any calibration, going instead with the default settings after loading the filament. The video below, not mine but created by one of the founders of M3D, shows the steps I followed.

The software that M3D offers is fine (I don’t have experience with a lot of 3D software except for the open source software for the maker farm printer I have (arduino? it’s pretty solid but not as user friend). I haven’t explored the M3D enough to properly review. It seems pretty straight forward with advanced features for the brave. I did find that after I load the STL file, I’m not seeing the image in the window (it’s there, and it’s ready to print, but with other software I’ve been able to see approximate size and how it’s going to print. I’m sure it’s possible (again, I haven’t ready any manuals, or had that much time to explore the software). Otherwise, the prompts in switching out the plastic are very helpful.

Note: for this 3d Printer set up, I’m running a Dell laptop with Windows 7 – no issues seeing the printer although two of my USB ports seemed to not be communicating – a third USB has worked just fine.

I printed a little pac man ghost keychain:

IMG_2264

IMG_2270
This took about 1 hour, 20 minutes to print.
IMG_2261
The printer is about 8 inches wide and 8 inches deep and about 10 inches high. The print bed looks to be about 5 inches x 5 inches (I’m sure the exact measurements are on the M3D site)

Several things that stand out.

1. First, as a Kickstarter item, the price is right ($249 or $299 is what I think I paid – the price for filament rolls is fair, as well. One roll was included in the kickstarter). If the printer holds up as I expect, and performs as advertise, I will be very happy.

2. The printer was securely packaged and shipped (a box within a box – there seemed to be no shifting).  The makers used some foam, some clips and tape to keep the printer still during transit).

3. The design of the printer is slick, simple, easy access to the bed. I have the black-framed printer. I particularly like the printer name lit up while it’s powered on (there is no power on/off switch – just plug in the power adapter and USB cable and printer will communicate to laptop). There are only a couple of cables (power adapter which could be longer, USB cable (long enough) and the wiring leading to the extruder.  I was able to pull off  my first 3D print easily. The starting layer was a little tougher but I’d rather have that than a non-sticky heating bed.

4. I don’t have a spool to hold the filament but I would recommend printing the attachment asap. I believe these STL files are easily findable on the M3D site and elsewhere.  During my first print last night, I found the filament can get easily tangled as it comes off the spool (I’ve since found a temporary solution). NOTE: You can also set the filament in the base of the printer for a cleaner, more organized look; I think I’ll remain in the external filament camp as it’s fewer steps in switching out different filaments.

5. Remember, the print bed is small. From one I comment I read, it’s too small to print a smart phone case, for example.  This printer is for smaller 3d print items.

I may post again later as I print more items and explore the software more thoroughly. There are plenty of better reviews and videos out there but count me as someone who is glad to have supported M3D.

Boston Strong? More Like Boston Tip Strong! Pizza Guy versus Used Car Lot

This hit planet Earth this week:

A story about a bunch of used car sales lot employees acting like jerks toward a pizza delivery guy. Next, on Fucking Obvious News, the sky is blue!

Hey’s nice to see white and black people working together! Even if it is working together to be assholes!

Boston Tip Strong – Never Forget. 1.14.15  $42 and some change. Numbers that forever will change the life of some people I never met. I haven’t seen a pizza get this much attention since Walter White threw his on his roof.

embedding the video is not working at the moment, but here’s the link:

a video of people being people about pizza and tips

Here’s a ‘tip’ – if you are working in a profession where you rate just above child molestors, try not acting like a jerk.

Also, commonly known to most people is don’t fuck with people who make your food. I’m sure used car sales ‘workers’ know this, even the trash in this video.

#NOJUSTICENOPIZZA

My jokes about Sony and North Korea….and Cosby of course

hi,

I’ve put some of these on FB and Twitter where it reached about 5 people so I thought I’d put it on my blog so that it reaches another 2 persons. Jokes about North Korea, Sony, Cosby, Xmas, etc….each subject divided (just like America)

1.Just saw North Korean outside local theater. What to do? Approach him? Punch him? Buy him food cuz he looks hungry?

2. In order to satisfy North Korea govt, all movie popcorn will no longer be yellow. (okay, this one is kinda dumb)

3. probaby on morning radio shows all last week: “congratulations caller #10, you’ve won 2 tickets to see The Interview on Xmas Day!”

4. The jokes on you North Korea! Hobbit – Battle of Five Armies hit theaters without a hitch!! (hint: NK are orcs)

——–

5. I’m guessing Cosby won’t be on Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee anytime soon…

6. I tried to binge watch season 3 of Cosby Show but I got drowsy & fell asleep. was that intentional, Cosby?

————-

7. “I finished my Christmas shopping” sounds better than “I just purchased 17 iTunes gift cards.”

————-

8. traumatized columbia and harvard law school students will someday take the low-bar exam.

9. how many harvard law students does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None – don’t ask them – they are too traumatized

10. Is it Trigger Warning or Tigger Warning? TTFN, snowflakes!

———–

11. the Pope says all dogs go to heaven. Saint Bernard dogs are like “duh!”

That’s it! Go back to your real websites. I know I will! Merry Christmas, nerds!

Jokes about the guy who jumped the white house fence

Hi,

did you hear about the guy who jumped over the White House fence and made it through the front door?

1. I haven’t seen that much activity at the White House since Clinton left office.

2. He qualified for the hit new show White House Ninja Warriors, moving on to Las Vegas semi finals.

3. those Jehovah Witness dudes are getting more aggressive!

4. Really? Breaking into a black guy’s house? What is this? New York?

5. I heard he ran through Michelle Obama’s garden and destroyed it so it wasn’t a total disaster.

6. hey everybody, Joe Biden’s house doesn’t have a fence….just saying…..

7. The Secret Service has promised to keep the front door locked. But the back sliding glass door will remain opened so Joe Biden doesn’t run into it.

8. Officials say the trespasser is not a Democrat because, as everyone knows, they are all running away from Obama.

9. The Secret Service decided not to shoot the guy because he appeared unarmed. And because they thought he might have a hot sister.

10. The trespasser was armed with a knife. Or as Nancy Pelosi called it – an AR-15.

—thanks! here all night (I thought of these, not to say others haven’t….jokes like these are as easy as climbing the White House fence).

That’s So ‘Ray’ven – Ray Rice, Ray Lewis, lessons learned

Several things to be learned from the Ray Rice gf/wife-beating crime:

1. You gonna beat your wife, do it on an escalator, that way you don’t have to drag her, let the escalator do the work. You probably tired from all that punching, let people-moving technology help you out. But stay to the right so others can get by, please.

2. You gonna comment about Ray Rice, make sure you (Ray Lewis) don’t have a record indicating that you hide evidence in a murder trial. Or, if you have to comment on the Ray Rice thing, don’t say:

“There’s some things you can cover up, and there’s some things you can’t,”

That sounds like something O.J. Simpson would say. Whatever happened to the Juice? Last I heard he was doing time in Nevada for trying to steal his gear (amazingly, his kids appeared to have not inherited his egomania and have stayed out of the limelight).

3. Ray Liotta – where is Ray Liotta and why isn’t he in more films? This guy is creepy-in-a-good-way, funny, dramatic – when Ray is in a movie, he steals it. I would personally mail all of Ray Liotta’s movies to the NFL in hopes they could get on this matter, but they probably wouldn’t watch the tape until much later. Poor Ray Liotta.

If you are named “Ray”, I suggest you go back to the proper “Raymond”. There are plenty of decent Raymonds. Too many thugs apparently are named Ray. Here, then, is the one and only appearance on my site of Famous Raymonds! Here’s some highlights to fit my pre-determined theory that Rays are bad, and Raymonds are good.

Raymond Carver – writer

Raymond Chandler – writer

Raymond Burr – actor (Ironside? ) – how lame it would be if he went by Ray “Ray Burr” Rayber – sounds like “raper”

Mr. Burr ain’t killed nobody ever. I wonder if he ever just wore a t-shirt. Dude was always in suits. He would have loved Men’s Warehouse.

Aaaaaaand that’s it! What a list! Did you get tired reading it? I know I did.  This stuff should be on Buzzfeed or Yahoo “News”. (I don’t recognize the other Raymond’s on the baby names list. I’m sure all those other Raymonds are exceptionally bright and polite people). By the way, yes I did google “famous Rays” and found plenty of good guys but that was after I had written all the above and so I’m gonna ignore other Rays for this post (but a shout out to Ray Romano, Ray Bradbury, Ray Parker Jr., et all for not being major league assholes – too bad you didn’t go by Raymond. It would have made this post more sensible).

Odd thoughts a little related to the above but not really:

Seriously, domestic violence is a problem. So is non-domestic violence. All violence is a problem. Unless you need it to stop someone from doing some evil. But don’t do so much violence upon the evil-doer so as to make you just as evil. Measured violence is the key. Someone steals your iPhone, you steal their’s. You know that old biblical saying: an iPhone for an iPhone? And on the 8th Day, He did Create a Phablet with an Operating system 8.0 and thus said unto the world: Do You Want to Download and Install? Click Here?”