Gawker Media, hacked emails! Next stop: Law & Order!

Just when Law & Order was running out of ideas and New York area actors, along comes Gawker Media. While only hours old, the story of Gawker posting hacked Sarah Palin emails/contacts has already been penned for television by Dick Wolf for his program, Law & Order.

Youve Just Been Gawkered!
You've Just Been Gawkered!
This shit just writes itself
Dick Wolfe: "This shit just writes itself."

The story will involve some morons, according to Wolf.

“We’ve done stories on murderers, rapists, thieves, celebrity crooks, but this story is just one of those file-under-stupid-criminals type of stories. Real easy shit to write.”

Gawker chief Nick Denton
Nick Denton, fresh fish in the upcoming episode of Law & Order.

In the episode, Nick Denton and staff at Gawker media are arrested for violating federal and state laws that prohibit the use of something that was stolen, which this joke writer is too lazy too look up, but knows everyone is all innocent until proven guilty in the court of l-a-w. Everybody on L&O, episode #1,553,221 gets upset, but Denton and crew still go to prison. And they start a prison blog on Prison Life called “Soap.”

Gawker Media's new Prison Blog, Soap.
Gawker Media's new prison blog, Soap.

Well, very meta, but in the episode, Denton is assaulted while posting on his blog, and in his self-defense, he kills the attacker with his Mac book. So he sues NY and McCoy and all these other Law & Order characters I can’t remember for a bunch of damages for being all stressed out over having to kill someone. And then at the end, Denton and crew walk out of prison, with smirks on their faces, all free and stuff. And then at the very, very end, the lawyers meet up with the District Attorney and hear some wise-old-man-whose-seen-it-all crap about “how the system worked.”

And all of this from illegally posting stuff. Coming to you this season, on Law & Order.

Jack Abramoff Elected to Another Four Years To Work on Prison Chess Set

Jack In The Box – not only a fast food restaurant, but a description of disgraced lobbyist, Jack Abramoff. Today he was elected to serve four more years in prison. Abramoff thanked the judge for the prison sentence as it will provide him more time to work on his chess set pieces, which he is carving out of Zest soap.

In prison, check mate can be the difference between life and death
While some in prison find "God", others find solace in playing a game of chess or shanking their cellmate.
Film Noir, not just a genre, but a fashion