Day: September 6, 2008

Terminator 3 Robot Inspires Creation of Cindy McCain 3000 Robot

~ Wiberg ~ 1 Comment

As the new Cindy McCain 3000 robot finds its way into the hearts of America, details behind the robot design can now be revealed. Designers admitted today that the T-X, from the masterpiece film Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, was the inspiration in creating the CM3K.

Rise of the McCains
Rise of the McCains - New Robot Wows America

Designers also admitted the the reported “broken wrist” was, in fact, a mechanical defect that had to be repaired in Reston, VA.

“The CM3K was designed in campaigning in mind, but we did not anticipate the amount of pressure placed on the robot limbs with all the handshaking,” reported one engineer.

The decision to go with the T-X design was an easy one. “We’re not going to build a politician’s wife to be ordinary. We wanted to go with a popular robot design and our research poll numbers indicated that the ‘hot’ model from the movie T3 was the way to go.”

Joe Biden – Private Sector Employment History Revealed! Young, Dumb, and Full Of

~ Wiberg

In a two minute investigative report using the internets, mostly Wikipedia, vice-presidential candidate Joe Biden’s private sector employment history was revealed, providing a stunning insight into the Delaware Senator, listed here:

1. Practiced Law in 1969.

1969 Employee of the Year
1969 Employee of the Year at Biden Law Offices

In 1970, Joe Biden was elected to a County Council position, and from there, went on to represent in the U.S. Senate, effectively ending his private sector employment history.

Even more impressive, Joe Biden currently lists his net worth between $59,000 and $366,000, making him one of the poorest current Senators. As one unnamed Senator put it: “Biden has done the impossible: he’s managed to be in the U.S. Senate for 30 years and not get rich. What a loser.”

Biden explained his financial situation to my imaginary friend. “I didn’t go to Washington to get rich. I went there to work. And, yes, had I known I could have made loads of money in D.C., I would have. For sure. I was young, dumb, and full of cumulative blue collar experiences that I thought I could use to help the public.”

Obama: “We’re Not Going to Be Bullied!” Reality Responds: “Um, Yes You Are.”

~ Wiberg

Bon Jovi superfan and presidential candidate Barack Obama today said that his campaign “would not be bullied.” He issued this statement at a Bon Jovi concernt, in front of dozens of NJ residents.

Obama can hear music five miles away
Obama can hear music 5 miles away.

When asked to name his favorite Bon Jovi song, Obama responded: “Living On A Prayer, of course. A Christian prayer, by the way, because I am a Christian and nothing else.”

In 2004, Bon Jovi helped John Kerry all the way to 2nd Place in the Presidential contest!
In 2004, rocker Bon Jovi helped John Kerry all the way to 2nd Place in the Presidential contest!

Obama added that they were not going to be smeared or lied about.

The McCain / Palin campaign responded quickly. “Once again, Barack Obama is wrong. He was wrong on the war, wrong on the surge, and he is wrong at the Bon Jovi concert. He will, in fact, be bullied, smeared, and lied about. That’s what we do and that’s what they do. It’s called politics and, like making sausage, it gets kinda ugly.”

Later, a reporter was able to ask vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin what her favorite Bon Jovi song was, and she responded without hesitation. “Thank You For Loving Me.”

Sarah Palin - Slippery When Wet? Or just a Blaze of Glory?
Sarah Palin - Slippery When Wet? Or just a Blaze of Glory?

Other candidates weighed in.

Joe Biden: “No idea who Bon Jovi is, sorry.”

John McCain: “Let me get back to you on this. I have seven of their albums, I’m just not sure which ones.”