slow night, but these came to mind so I thought I’d post ’em.
(so I was trolling the internet and discovered, through my ultra-sick computer skills, a document that appears to be an excerpt of a transcript of what occurred in the delivery room where Obama was born…)
AUGUST 4, 1961,Kapiolani Maternity & Gynecological Hospital.:
NURSE: Push!
STANLEY (Obama’s mother): I am!
NURSE: I said push, you American woman, you!
STANLEY: I am pushing. I’m pushing my American baby out in this Hawaiin hospital!
BARACK, SR: Hurry up, or I’m gonna miss My Three Sons. That is an American show I love to watch.
NURSE: Push, lady!
STANLEY: I’m trying!
BARACK, SR: I’m calling the newspaper!
STANLEY: Wait! First fix that American flag we hung up over there on the wall.
BARACK, SR: Sure will! I am so glad my little baby is being born just 2 years after this great state joined the United States.
NURSE: Almost there. I can see the head. Looks American! It’s a boy! An American boy, born in Hawaii!
STANLEY: I want me some apple pie!!
(credit mark wiberg) – this is just a joke birthers, and anti-birthers. the real transcript is locked up in my trapper-keeper.
Since I use Facebook account, I’ve gotten so lazy about actually writing unimportant stuff on this site. I need a project, something to document. Either a story/book, how-to….I’ll think of something. Here are some thoughts, probably stated better elsewhere:
1. The MSNBC show Lockup: Raw when run on a virtual loop on the weekends, does more harm than good, I bet. For a network that claims to be progressive/liberal, why it gets off showing criminals in prison over and over is beyond me. Usually featuring minorities or poor people, imprisoned for crimes, yes, the show reinforces stereotypes (in equal doses). When you run this kinda of programming, along with the constant “Murder in a Small Town” type stories, and then wonder why half of America is scared to go outside…I guess it’s cheaper than paying a few dope anchors to sit behind the desk all day. But why not re-run Biographies, old news footage (like they used to when they started).
2. Kind of a joke: -Everyone is screaming over healthcare reform (pro or con) and the irony is nobody likes to go to the doctor. So, we want coverage, we just don’t want to use it and will wait until blood is oozing out our ears or “that bump” starts to grow an eyeball before seeking help. Guys could cut off their arms accidentally and hold off going to the doctors (“just a scratch”). So, bring on the healthcare reform, nobody’s gonna use it anyway!
3. Inglorious Basterds (movie) – interesting movie, a few major flaws (the font choice on some of the titles, Mike Meyers?) but I think I’m getting tired of having to know ‘everything’ about film to appreciate the experience that QT provides. Oh, and horrible title/commercials – seems to shy away from the strongest part of the film (Col. Landa, and the two women characters).
4. I’m trying to read this cheesey book called Doomsday Key. I won’t link to it cuz it sucks. There is an art to writing fast-paced thrillers.
5. I was fortunate to buy a house this year and I have learned what I expected to learn: ABR – Always Be Repairing. This is done by some research, having good friends/family to help, and repeated trips to the hardware store.
Since I haven’t posted here in ages, I guess I don’t really have to state that ‘blogging’ isn’t my thing, at least not at the moment.
But this post is to confirm that I have a wordpress account and I still own markwiberg.com, until I change my name.
News: it looks the comedy at the Grange Hall in SLO, CA is done. Too bad, but it’s tough to schedule comedians, no matter where.
I moved to Paso Robles – thank you to the mortgage meltdown for bringing home prices down. I may post soon about buying a house, moving in, cleaning up, etc….but it’s been done, right? Who wants to read about this Home Improvement-type crap? All I know is that despite all the debate and articles on ‘renting versus buying’, buying/owning) a house adds a different element to one’s life – more responsibility? Tremendous debt? Maybe. But, when I was renting I had debt, so what’s the diff? And repsonsibility? I’ll take that over trying to get your full security deposit back. Anyway, if you’re renting, you still have the responsibility to manage one’s money for the future, so keeping on top of your investments is key. If you buy a house, you have similar responsibility, but in a more ‘present’ or real way – your investment is there, everyday, waiting for you to fix this, or paint that. You are never guaranteed a return, but you know you have a house, and property – actual land, like in that movie Far and Away, without the horse race and phony Irish accents – and except for a few cases (eminent domain or sink hole), that property will be around for years. Depending upon your location, that property may increase in value, for whatever reason. It may decrease in value, but for how long. There is only so much property to be had.
I’m no expert in real estate, finances (believe me, I’m not), but having had the good fortune to pick up a relative bargain in an expensive county, I think the odds are in my favor (unless an earthquake hits, then I’m screwed), and I think pro-rent articles are sometimes too dismissive of home-buying. We are human. There is something to be said for having your own place. I’m not opposed to renting for sure – I am the least handyman person I know, so I dig being able to call the landlord and say ‘fix it!’. But, too late now for me. This will be my main investment for now – I’m too lax on keeping up with 401k/investing stuff. The fact that I call it ‘stuff’ tells you I am. And having rented rooms and apartments for the past 15 years, it’s a very cool feeling (and scary) to know that everything in the house and on the property is mine, good or bad. Besides, if it doesn’t go up in value, I’ll ask the government to cover the loss. j/k.
This Timothy Geithner (Timmy!) is a great money-man. You can read all about it in his unpublished book:
Pay Shmay – An American’s Guide To Taxes.
In case you don’t know who Timothy Geithner is, he is one of the two below. One knows his name and the other one uses off-the-shelf software to cheat on his taxes.
Lesson learned – If you can’t pay the IRS, get a job with them. And if you can beat them, well, run the IRS.
Ode to a Tracking Number, by Ton and Tanya Peeples. I can’t get that song out of my head, perhaps because more often than I care to, I have to read off tracking numbers to UPS or FedEx.
It’s a parody, inspired by the classic Ode to Billie Joe’s story-telling ways, and is performed by actor Paul Rudd (Ton) and Kristen Wiig (Tanya, or is it Tonya?) on Saturday Night Live (see there, kids, that show doesn’t totally suck all the time!):
Here it is at videogum (since I can’t embed video, it appears, from non-youtube sites….and hulu doesn’t have it)
July 2010 – just realized the video has been pulled, probably some time ago. Sorry. If you know where it’s at online, let me know.
AND HERE ARE THE LYRICS (transcribed by me, who has too much time on his hands today – I think I got it right but let me know if I missed a number or got the customer names wrong! I’m not sure why I put the quotes in.)
Ode to Tracking Number
It was morning just like any other morning in the Georgia hill (wiig)
She heard a knocking at her door and up her spine she felt a tingly chill (rudd)
And she stumbled to the door and said “hey who’s that on the other side?” (wiig)
“I gotta package here for Lester Carl and Eleanor Alisha Pride.” (rudd)
She said listen here those people that you’re talking about they live next door. (wiig)
And he said “Wait a second isn’t this 5407 Johnson Road?” (rudd)
She said “Yes it is but this here is a duplex and they live in back.” (wiig)
Then he said “Let me call my manager so I can get this package tracked.” (rudd)
Then he said “Lady can I use your phone my cell ain’t got no signal that’s clear.” (wiig)
And she said “Sure enough but careful there’s a lot of broken glass over here.” (rudd)
And he tip-toed to the kitchen and he called his manager Jerome. (wiig)
He started reading off the tracking number right into her M & M phone. (rudd)
He said “31256935673452” (wiig)
Then he continued “TKX45201267Q.” (rudd)
Then he looked at her real weird and said “the rest is covered by tape.” (wiig)
And then he lifted up the tape and read “J712438.” (rudd)
“57143577GLD5Q” (wiig)
Then it continues with “BR476913AP2” (rudd)
Which was followed by an “asterisk then PPDL dash Q dash.” (wiig)
and then “a lower case ‘u’ hyphen 55732….”. (rudd)
And, in enjoying this song, I revisited the inspiration for this song, Ode to Billie Joe, and the performances by the singer/songwriter Bobbie Gentry. Here are two videos that show how great she is:
Niki Hoeky:
Ode To Billie Joe:
MARK WIBERG 