I’ve put some of these on FB and Twitter where it reached about 5 people so I thought I’d put it on my blog so that it reaches another 2 persons. Jokes about North Korea, Sony, Cosby, Xmas, etc….each subject divided (just like America)
1.Just saw North Korean outside local theater. What to do? Approach him? Punch him? Buy him food cuz he looks hungry?
2. In order to satisfy North Korea govt, all movie popcorn will no longer be yellow. (okay, this one is kinda dumb)
3. probaby on morning radio shows all last week: “congratulations caller #10, you’ve won 2 tickets to see The Interview on Xmas Day!”
4. The jokes on you North Korea! Hobbit – Battle of Five Armies hit theaters without a hitch!! (hint: NK are orcs)
5. I’m guessing Cosby won’t be on Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee anytime soon…
6. I tried to binge watch season 3 of Cosby Show but I got drowsy & fell asleep. was that intentional, Cosby?
7. “I finished my Christmas shopping” sounds better than “I just purchased 17 iTunes gift cards.”
8. traumatized columbia and harvard law school students will someday take the low-bar exam.
9. how many harvard law students does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None – don’t ask them – they are too traumatized
10. Is it Trigger Warning or Tigger Warning? TTFN, snowflakes!
11. the Pope says all dogs go to heaven. Saint Bernard dogs are like “duh!”
That’s it! Go back to your real websites. I know I will! Merry Christmas, nerds!
Politics, anyone? Serious, hardcore politics mean to boil your blood, confirm your suspicions? You’ve come to the wrong place, my friend. But I offer this list of things President Obama flip-flopped on this week:
1. Super PACS – as we all know, Super PACs are large money grubbing organizations hell-bent on making life miserable for political candidates’ opponents by funding and purchasing air time for approximately 1.2 billion 30 second spots. Recently, The Supreme Court was, like, “hey money is free speech so have fun!” Whatever. But, while once opposed to Super PACs, President Obama changed his mind this week, greatly helping his chances at reelection in that his supporters can better match, dollar for dollar, the opposing side: Dog the Bounty Hunter. This registers as a MAJOR FAIL. Not because he did this, but because he should have realized early on this would happen and never been so publicly opposed.
Please note that often times, I link to articles that I read only the first few sentences. I Google a topic and link to one that looks like won’t break. In another words, I search for knowledge, but dodge it at the last moment.
2. President Obama’s adminstration recently came out and demanded that everyone who is religious practice safe sex all at once, all together, in the same sleazy motel. I think his specific words were: “Anyone ‘DTF ‘will be covered when it comes to birth control…so get busy, my fellow Americans. Get busy safely!”
Quickly, Obama’s administration was going to ask that all businesses, including religious organizations, include birth control coverage in their health plans. Then everybody freaked out and so Friday Obama hinted he would ease off some of the requirements.
I guess you could call this a “Birther” Controller controversy (get it? ha ha). Anyway, who cares except for the pope, whose giant hat and funny costume is never gonna get him action. This flip-flop ranks as a SEMI-MAJOR FAIL.
Other FAILs this week by Obama (and some time later I may do one on President Romney)
3. Obama allowed 3D technology to be shared with filmmaker George Lucas. Thus, The Phantom Menace 3D was released today. Meesa not so happy! I remember 3 years ago when Obama was elected, he said “On day 1, I will share with the world entertainment technology only those corporations willing and able to apply it to worthy projects. No longer, will the world suffer…” something like that. FAIL.
4. Unknown to many, but Obama’s flip-flop on Closing Gitmo ™ is more than just a regular FAIL. Unreported, Obama has opened 47 other GITMOs around the world, including EuroGitmo, which you can visit and get a one day pass to EuroCalifornia Adventures (which sucks, but everyone still goes).
And that’s it. Not as funny as I had planned for it to be…..the point is, if I read one more thing about a politician flip-flopping, I will totally start another blog about it. Every politician (at least the successful ones) wants to be liked, wants votes, and will do whatever they can – and that includes FlipFlopping.