Don LaFontaine, who did the voice-over work for many movie previews, died Monday. Rumors he voiced the trailer for the Oliver Stone pic “W” are not yet made up. But let’s say he did, and if he did, it might start off like this:
In a world where one person can make a difference in the lives of many, one person did. Only, everybody on the planet didn’t want him to make a difference…
RIP “In A World” guy.
This weekend, Russian hero Vladimir Putin saved his beloved members of the media and tranquilized a tiger. He then took the tiger back to his hotel room, ordering room service later that night. Hmmm.
Sept 2, 2008. Wasilla, AK (MW):
Current mayor of Wasilla, Dianne Keller, has today announced her intention to run for Vice president of the United States in 2016. In her statement, she said she has “totally big plans and stuff” for when she occupies the Vice Presidency.
With all the attention former Mayor Sarah Palin has received as John McCain’s pick for vice president, Mayor Keller has been able to quietly form a committee designed to get her into the White House in 2016. She has 12 years of city council and mayorship experience and so is currently more qualified than either Sarah Palin or presidential hopeful Barack Obama, according to local Alaskans.
Although it is 2008, Diane Keller is a politician who prefers to remember the past – keeping the 2006 Mission and Goals statement on the website as of today.
“The past is where it’s at,” Keller said. “That is why, like, when I am elected Vice President in 2016, I’m going to make sure that everything is done like it was two years prior. That we freeze time for two years.”
Keller describes her self as a radical independent. “I will totally vote or not vote for someone, and I don’t care what any of them down at Chepo’s say.”
A private person, Keller says she has already been vetted by none other than former Senator Fred Thompson. “Yeah, he called me and said in 8 years he will be ancient enough to run for the presidency and he would consider me for vice presidency but that I gotta clear up some bills I have at the Fred Meyer’s.”
Today, super mayor Ray Nagin told everyone to “get your butts moving out of New Orleans.” Then he added that he’d stay behind in the NO (aka Chocolate City) and keep things chill because that’s how he rolls.
And Michael Moore’s God loves hurricanes and so answered his prayers this weekend and Hurricane Gustav is bearing down on the gulf states and the upcoming Republican Convention (check your local listings – it might be covered). Moore can put away his Viagra because this hurricane and upcoming convention is probably already getting him harder than a Cindy McCain-owned diamond. Gross, I know, and I apologize for the imagery.
MARK WIBERG 