UPDATE: My first impressions of the album here.
Earlier: I’m gonna take a break from my idiotic posts to make anyone aware that the late comedian Mitch Hedberg has a new comedy album coming out on September 9, 2008. I just discovered this and so I thought I’d share.
I’m a fan – and I don’t say that often of anything.
UPDATE: I put a few thoughts down about the new album, which I’m listening tonight.
Following Sunday evening’s televised awards show on MTV, Tim Shriver, chairman of the Special Olympics, said he was totally considering doing or saying something about MTV for the awards show host Russell Brand’s use of the word “retarded” in referring to President George Bush.
“I am this close to saying something about it. As soon as MTV’s parent company/owner Sumner Redstone is done donating to the Democratic party, I am going to write a letter. I might even mail it.”
Shriver and other organizations who support special needs people, say they want the “r-word” to no longer be part of everyday vocabulary, unless it is used by an employee of a major donor.
“Hey, I know the r-word is offensive – it’s soooo offensive that I called for a boycott on a stupid little parody film (Tropic Thunder). Now, when I hear someone use that word, the r-word, on a televised program owned by a company that donates money to my family’s political party, I do get pretty fed up. I am so angry I could spit.”
When asked if there was a difference between host Russell Brand’s use and the film Tropic Thunder’s use of the “r-word,” Shriver didn’t hesitate.
“That is the most r-worded question I’ve heard today. The difference is that I get to decide what is allowed. Isn’t that clear?”
Last month, Joe Biden’s Senate office spokesperson said the following about his son, Hunter Biden, who is a lawyer/lobbyists for several companies.
But doubts were raised when a transcript was released several days later, as Hunter Biden visited his father’s home for Sunday dinner.
TRANSCRIPT:
Joe Biden: How is your work going, son?
Hunter Biden: Please don’t ask that, dad. I don’t want to cause any conflicts of interest.
JB: I understand. Can you pass me the salt?
HB: I can pass that salt, if you can pass the mustard.
JB: But there isn’t any mustard on the table.
(brief silence)
JB: Oh, yes, of course. I’ll pass that soon. It will get passed.
HB: Thank you dad. I love mustard. My friends back at the firm love mustard.
JB: I’ll pass it, don’t worry. Man, this mooseburger is delicious.
HB: Why are we having moose burgers? They taste awful.
JB: It’s a long story, but apparently the other side is going to pick some hockey mom from Alaska and the One – excuse me, Senator Obama – thought I’d should do some research on the folks up there – y’know, see what the eat, what they drink, that sorta thing. Hey, what do you think of my new hair?
HB: Not bad, dad. You look like a million bucks. Or at least a quarter of a million dollars.
JB: Is that all?
HB: Well, you might look like a little more, but it depends. I’d have to ask my colleagues. I’m still new at judging hair.
JB: You ask them. I’ll bet they see that I look like at least half a million bucks. I mean, this is great hair!
HB: I agree, but it isn’t doing that much lately.
JB: It will soon. This hair will do things for you, believe me. Tell your friends that. Now, can you pour me some more of that arctic icewater?
END TRANSCRIPT
A semi-serious post:
All week long, the world wrings its hand and thinks “if John McCain wins, Sarah Palin will be one heart beat away from the Presidency!!! OMG!”
A review of Wikipedia’s page on Presidents Who Died In Office, indicates that Presidents generally don’t die by first losing their heart beat, ie ‘heart attack’, but by other, more preventable methods!
Four were assassinated (Lincoln, Garfield, McKinley, Kennedy), one died from pneumonia (Harrison), and another from gastroentitis (Taylor). Franklin Delano Roosevelt died from a cerebral hemorrhage.
Warren G. Harding was the only one, it seems, who died in office of a heart attack in 1923. Four presidents have been assassinated while in office, so that is a concern. But nobody goes around saying “If John McCain wins, Sarah Palin will be one bullet away or one uncooked steak away from the Presidency!! OMG!” because that would be tacky.
So, the chances any president is going to die while in office is slim to none. Joe Biden or Sarah Palin will just have to sit back, attend funerals and stay awake during the President’s State of the Union speeches.
And remember, this person is TWO heart attacks away from the presidency! OMG!:
As the new Cindy McCain 3000 robot finds its way into the hearts of America, details behind the robot design can now be revealed. Designers admitted today that the T-X, from the masterpiece film Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, was the inspiration in creating the CM3K.
Designers also admitted the the reported “broken wrist” was, in fact, a mechanical defect that had to be repaired in Reston, VA.
“The CM3K was designed in campaigning in mind, but we did not anticipate the amount of pressure placed on the robot limbs with all the handshaking,” reported one engineer.
The decision to go with the T-X design was an easy one. “We’re not going to build a politician’s wife to be ordinary. We wanted to go with a popular robot design and our research poll numbers indicated that the ‘hot’ model from the movie T3 was the way to go.”
Republican party officials confirmed today that Vice Presidential nominee Sarah Palin will present her speech this evening using no teleprompter and while wearing a Alaska State Flag blindfold and earplugs.
“This speech is going to be easy for her. She’s totally relaxed,” one official stated. “We are not worried at all. She memorized the speech yesterday while shopping for maternity clothes for her daughter.” He added that they other issues to be worried about, like Palin’s as-of-now unnamed, married cousin, who is expecting twins, despite only living in a two-bedroom apartment in Anchorage. “We are concerned the Democrats will use this as an issue against Palin.”
Palin did meet the cousin twice in the past five years at two separate family gatherings and is said to have said “how are you?” to the younger 25-year-old cousin, causing concern within Republican ranks that the Alaskan Governor is too closely tied to her cousin, who has no plans to move to a larger living space.
MARK WIBERG 