So Obama shows up at the end and says ‘thanks, Biden, for remembering my name.’ Then he takes out a coin and tosses it to Biden, and says “Keep the Change” and he winks knowingly and they fist-bump, only Biden breaks his hand and starts to cry so they take him off stage. And then Obama gives a shout out to Bill Clinton, who will not be the First Man next year, but instead will return to NY to continue his studies of global politics and solutions to poverty, and to catch up with E!’s show “Girls Next Door.” Then Obama waves to the crowd and Fox News reports that Obama whispered “dirka dirka” to Biden earlier, proving once again that Obama lives a double-life as a muslim, speaks muslim, and that plans for a White House basement-level mosque are in the works.
Meanwhile, the dolts at MSNBC seem hellbent on destroying each other while “reporting/analyzing” the Democratic Convention this week. Olbermann, Matthews, Scarborough, Shuster, etc. are hilariously dysfunctional. It’s like that scene from Reservoir Dogs, with Steve Buscemi telling everyone to act like professionals. MSNBC needs a professional reporter to babysit all of them. I wonder if this kinda crap would be going on if Tim Russert were alive?
So, here’s an example of the lovefest at MSNBC. Remember these people work for the same cable channel. I guess Olbermann’s “Worse Person In The World” will be sourced from within soon.
It’s great television, though useless for the voters! (as usual, right?).
It’s an honor to be here tonight to share my IQ with you fellow Democrats. As a senator for many, many years, I know what change is all about. Change is what you pull out of your pants pocket and put on the kitchen table and stare at, when you’re hungry from walking to and from the train station. And sitting at that kitchen table, you wonder if you can stack that change, mostly quarters and nickels, as high as you did the night before so you begin stacking the change on the kitchen table and then it all falls down and that is bad, America. You do not want your change to fall down on the kitchen table or anywhere else.
If you’re against change, then you’re against me and my change. You’re for something else that I don’t know anything about. I come from Pennsylvania, a state that I will mention a lot over the next few months because it’s a swing state, but I represent another state you care nothing about, a state the size of a Walmart. So I am a Regular Joe who comes from two states, one of them a swing state, with only the change in his pocket and one kitchen table. I have had the same easy job for 35 years and that is something every American knows something about. I take the train to work – who doesn’t, right? All it takes is a little change to get there and back. And did you see how I brought the “change” motif back into my speech. Pretty lame, I know, but remember that next time you ask me to write my own speech. Remember, a vote for Obama is a vote for me, a regular joe, who happens to know how Washington works.
Bill Clinton totally gave his all, didn’t he? But I’m a little disappointed that the man from Hope didn’t bring up the issue that is most pressing: Spaghetti Cat.
If the Democrats, and Bill Clinton, don’t want to deal with Spaghetti Cat, then I guess the Republicans will. I’m just saying.
What did Bill say tonight? Here goes:
“Hey, America. It’s good to be here, a mile high, surrounded by supporters, the ones I love and the ones who love me, and, of course, my wife Hillary.You’re all my BFFs, as the college kids of today say. Hey America, sit down – I have a heart condition and can’t stand here forever. S’down!
I’m here tonight to tell you to vote for Barack Hussein Obama. I’m not here to discourage voters to vote for Barack Hussein Obama – just as I wouldn’t discourage you to vote for someone named Peter Hitler Smith. No way. No McCain!
Obama is a man who many say is experienced and ready for the job. And I agree that many actually say that, so that is why I’m here tonight – to tell you that many in our party think he can do the job and that’s important, if you believe them or whatever.
And what about Joe Biden? What a guy. Hillary was gonna pick him, y’know? Yeah – totally was gonna pick him as veep.You know what I’m talking about. 18 million of you out there know. And you all know I’m from Hope, Arkansas, which is in the United States. In the heartland, but I don’t get me wrong, I don’t go back there unless I have to. But, Obama – Obama says he’s from Hawaii and that’s good enough for me. So, get out there and vote, and if things don’t go our way, we’ll know we tried, or something. And remember, Don’t Stop Thinking About Tomorrow, or 2012, whichever one – tomorrow or 2012 – it’s all the same. TTYL.
So Hillary Clinton gave her speech today and is all ‘go ahead and support Obama, see if I care,’ then Bill Clinton stood up and wagged his finger at everyone around him and then stormed out. Then James Carville could be heard hollering “get ’em!” and then Hillary revealed secret documents that showed Obama is a muslim, the top muslim of the entire world, and a terrorist, too, and a bad daddy and even badder half-brother and then everyone in the convention center took a vote and replaced Obama with Hillary, and Michelle O was okay with it because she wants to go back to practicing law. Hillary cried and thanked the crowd. The end.
This is a late to the game post but today I was reminded that the word ‘retard’ (aka “the r-word”) is still used in acceptable circles such as in organizations who help mentally challenged/disabled individuals. Anyone who goes to the movies may be already be aware of the (weak) protests/demonstration against the satiric comedy Tropic Thunder (dir. Ben Stiller). The film hosts a bunch of characters who say awful things, including one character who uses the word ‘retard’ freely. Nevermind that the character is an idiotic actor with little upstairs, real people were offended, calling the use of the word “retard” as ‘horrifying.’ I saw the movie, it was funny, and that’s all it was. The supposedly offensive scene is about 30 seconds. In context, the character is discussing his efforts to win accolades by imitating the mentally disabled in a film which later flops, in part because he went “full retard,” and not “part” (ie, Rain Main, Forrest Gump are examples of actors portraying successfully, partially mentally disabled individuals).
Anyway, cut to today, and somehow I run across dozens of very useful organization who help individuals who are, through no fault of their own, mentally disabled and who struggle in a world that is too often unfriendly and unfair to them. But, these organizations use the “r-word” so I am boycotting them. Not that I was sending them money, anyhow, but now I really will not send them money if I ever get money. Seriously, I was surprised to see the word show up in the search results and in some cases on the home pages of these organizations.
What does the AADP have to say about these organizations? Or Timothy Shriver, the chairman of the Special Olympics, and exec producer for the less successful r-word film The Ringer, who didn’t even see the movie before complaining.
Timothy Shriver, chairman of the Special Olympics, admits to NPR that he actually didn’t see “Tropic Thunder.”
But he’s calling for a boycott of the Ben Stiller film — the one he hasn’t seen — because its use of the word “retard” causes “suffering, injustice and exclusion.”
“I don’t feel any special need to see it myself,” he says on NPR. In the interview for “All Things Considered,” Shriver admits that he very much wanted to see it in the last 10 days, but that the studio wasn’t able to arrange it with him.
But that’s OK. He says he has seen several of the scenes in question that feature the dreaded R-word.
“I’ve seen enough of it on TV and on the Internet.”
Yes, there are people in real life who use this word to cause hurt. But there are other ways to go about educating people than protesting a R-rated “r-word”-using comedy that seeks to offend as many people as possible. You can not govern language without going down that slippery-slope of political correctness. The word is seen by most as unpleasant and nowadays I think it is thrown around for shock – kids and adults cycle through ‘regular’ and profane words to make their point. Whether it’s valid or not, it is a reality. I use it sometimes. I use a bunch of words I’m not always proud of.
So, what I have learned? Well, words are apparently owned by certain (rich) individuals and organizations and that the rest of us must ask for permission or edit our films, or jokes or books, etc. to avoid offense! And now, instead of the r-word, I will use “shriver” instead. So, in trying to censor this film, Timothy Shriver went “full shriver.”
Boring but that could just be the post-Olympics depression. Where’s Bob Costas?
Ted Kennedy – dead man walking. No other opinion cuz I’m tired of the Kennedys. Ooops – I guess that’s an opinion.
Michelle Obama – nice, but boring, but her kids were amusing and real.
Overall, typical but no real fodder for stand-up comedians, so kinda worthless. Except possibly the lady in the video introduction to Michelle Obama. All I could think of was this, at around 2:55 on this video (warning: shaky cam):
MARK WIBERG 