Bloomberg’s Soda Ban Legislation Revealed!

Through some online digging, I found the following proposed legislation regarding New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg’s efforts to curb consumption of sugary drinks by limiting drink sizes to no more than 16 ounces.

Legislation Text

By Council Members Cabrera, Arroyo, Foster, Koppell, Palma, Rivera, Seabrook, Bert, Ernie, Vacca, Barron, Dilan, Eugene,  Brewer, Chin, Dickens, Simon, Simon, Pupkin, Quinn, Rodriguez, Etcetera

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A Local Law to amend the administrative code of the city of New York, in relation to limit the portion size of sugary drinks within New York City limits.

Be it enacted by the Council as follows:

Section 1; Section 1, pages 52-53; New or amended ordinance regarding health of citizenry, especially fatties, to include limitations on sugary drinks (soda, sweetened tea, sugar drinks above 25 calories per 8 ounce serving) made available for sale at restaurants, delis, sporting arenas, movie theaters, gas stations, porn shops, churches, family barbecues, weddings, and dog funerals.

Sugary drinks as defined as non-diet sodas, and some sweetened teas and coffees favored by hipsters.  A panel will be commissioned to determine what Coke Zero, Dr. Pepper 10, and PepsiMax are supposed to be and whether they qualify under proposed size ban. A case of each male gender-targeted low calorie drinks will be ordered and distributed to council members for consumption during the Fourth of July 2012 weekend. Sodas clearly marked “diet” can continue to be purchased/sold in any cup size up to 64 ounce, so as to curtail any potential underground market by Prius-driving and/or vegan health-freaks.

Section 2; Section 2, pages 55-57; Portion sizes larger than 16 ounces will remain available at grocery stores and retail outlets such as Target. As noted previously by heard testimony, when you run into Target to get something, you always end up spending more, which often includes soda and it makes financial sense to purchase a liter of sugary drink rather than a single smaller bottle.

Section 3; Section 3, pages 60-62; Fines for violation of proposed soda size ban include written warning(s) and/or fines up to but not exceeding $100 per violation unless violation involves Shasta or RC Cola, in which case fine will be reduced fifty percent under the ‘pity rule.’

/Bloomberg/crazyideas/wtf/drafts/

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related: Sodacop, a play.

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