Holmes v. Cruise v. Scientology v. Who Cares v. ObamaCare v. Blog Bait

~ Wiberg

If I don’t post about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes getting divorced, who will?

As we all know, on Thursday, the Supreme  Court stuck up for Obama on his ACA (ObamaCare). A day later, Katie Holmes dared to divorce the most popular Scientologist ever. Coincidence? I don’t think so.

Here’s why: Katie Holmes is an unskilled worker. If you have seen any of her movies/television shows, you know this. She flaunts it. So, without a real job skill, she is and was always at risk of falling below the poverty level, living a hellish life without proper medical coverage. So, five years ago, this untalented hottie does what she needs to do – marries the first dude who asks her, and whammo! she has health insurance as a married woman to the hottest dyslexic ever born  – Mr. Tom Cruise, High Priest of the Church of Scientology and Movie Star.

This college drop-out can now leave her husband, confident that healthcare as a single, unskilled parent can be obtained cheaply with the federal government’s help.

She has sexy sex with the Movie Star, has a kid, but still finds no time to learn an employable trade. Instead, she relies on her marriage to keep her secure, to keep her health coverage. I bet they were in a PPO plan, spending her free time pushing a stroller around.

Finally, along comes ObamaCare. Katie sees a light at the end of the tunnel. That light tells her she can leave her husband, and not even work, and still possibly be covered! Praise the Lord!

Katie follows the court cases surrounding ObamaCare, understanding very little of course, but knowing very well that the law is not settled and won’t be until the Supremes review the case. She is not sure why a R&B group is involved, but she waits.

Then, last Thursday, Chief Justice John Roberts is all “ObamaCare is Here to Stay Forever, Americans, so Get Used To It!  Unless Politicians Repeal It Later!” And Katie Holmes doesn’t hear the second part and so is like “Thank Xenu, Obama and Roberts, I’m outta here. And I’m taking my baby! I can get affordable healthcare without being married to this weirdo!”

So, if you want to blame Obama for ruining the country go ahead. But know this – he also ruined the Holmes/Cruise marriage by insisting on healthcare for all, even unskilled workers like Holmes and her stupidly named space baby, Suri.    Will Election 2012 kill ObamaCare and lead Holmes running back to Cruise?Maybe – if TMZ has anything to say about it.  If it’s repealed, look for Holmes to marry soon – to anyone, solidifying her status as a benefits whore.