hey, I haven’t posted in awhile and just thought that I’d post my thoughts on the incredibly unfunny Paul Reiser show. I wasn’t a fan of Mad About You, but a lot of people were – 20 years ago. Now one of the stars is back with a new sitcom. And, I suppose, in twenty years he can do a show about a guy who had a crappy sitcom about a guy who once had a successful sitcom. At least Helen Hunt isn’t in this one.
Whereas a Reiser contemporary, Jerry Seinfeld, had a show “about nothing,” this show is about a nobody. Not literally, but 2011 is a lot different than the early 90s. Paul Reiser in the title of the show? Really? Other than his family and friends and NBC suits, has anybody in the past 15 years wondered what Paul Reiser is doing?
The first episode was awful, primarily for its blatant rip-off/homage of the much better written (improvised, mostly) Curb Your Enthusiasm. The corny circus music and including Larry David in the premiere episode was not the way to start (maybe he should have called the show “Paul Your Enthusiam”). It’s like the show jumped the shark on the first episode. Maybe next week Paul can hang out a a community college. Or at the Tracy Jordan Show. Actually, although I’m not a fan of Reiser’s, his timing and personality would actually fit more in The Office than any other sitcom on air.
That is the end of this post. I have grown tired of this topic much sooner than I realized. Thank you for reading this post. Now go read something else that isn’t so critical about a guy who is just trying to make our evenings more enjoyable with a little sitcom humor.
Truther. Right here. Right now. Let’s Roll. Bring it On. Scooby Doo. You add up the numbers, 3, 11, 11, and you know what you get. 26. Or 25. Stupid calculator. Anyway, 25 is a pretty meaningful number, especially when it comes to conspiracies. You know what I’m talking about. Yes you do. So, then, why don’t you tell me what I’m talking about.
Okay, so, I was talking (facetiously to the nth degree) about how the Japan quake was probably an inside job and how I’ve become a 3/11 Truther. That’s right – boom! Just like that, you, too, can become a 3/11 Truther! Crappy, over-analyzed videos on YouTube? Check. LooseChange, Change Harder, got that on my editing board right now! Because, really, where did all that water in the tsunami come from? We don’t know the exact volume of the ocean because GW Bush and Obama don’t want us to know, so they can pull stunts like this earthquake/tsunami. Obviously it was brought in by a shadow government. Duh! Paging Julian Assange. Assange, to the front desk. Fire can’t melt steel and water can’t push cars around. If it really could push cars around how is it that so many of us are able to drive in the rain? Whatever you see on the internet is what the government wants you to see – it’s staged. A lot of people think the 1969 moon landing was a hoax. The landing was a hoax, but not the take-off from the moon, that was real – don’t ask me how I know. Go read a book, man. Back to Japan – houses floating down the street? I saw Lost in Translation. I am fairly certain that the Japanese people don’t even live in houses like those shown in the videos. They live in little tiny apartments with Hello Kitty graphics on the walls and pet rocks. This earthquake occurred to keep the “sheeple” from paying attention to the Middle East and Charlie Sheen (who we all know is being set-up with the standard ‘two-goddesses-bag-of-coke’ trap to discredit him for his own conspiracy beliefs. Winning!).
So, I was going to do a 3/11 truther website and everything and sell t-shirts and videos(prophet/profit – wow, so deep) and soon host my own satellite radio show. But I don’t have the energy. Of course I don’t – not with the contrails above my house dropping secret government brain-washing powder on my head. And the flouride in the water, and the SMART meter attached to my electricity meter. I just work and love me some PepsiMax and American Idol, like a good American!
So, then I googled “japan earthquake conspiracy” (just to see if I was first in line in critical thinking skills). Lo and behold, I was beaten to the punch, finding several discussions, like this one:
this guy looks like his head has moving plates, so maybe he does know something about earthquakes.
As we all know from Jesse Ventura’s Conspiracy Nerd-Alert College, HAARP is a high frequency thingamabob in Alaska that studies shit but of course it is really used as a giant ‘energy/plasma beam’ to wreak havoc on little countries, courtesy of a shadow government. Use HAARP on al Qaeda in the mountains of Afghanistan or Pakistan? Or, say, rattle middle eastern dictators with a few little tremors? No! Instead, let’s slam Japan and Haiti. They’ve both had it coming for a long time. 3/11 Truthers believe this, because when you live in your grandma’s basement and think the X-Files series is a documentary, anything is possible. By the way, HAARP is not to be confused with AARP, which is an equally terrifying organization, whose chief objective is to get in the way of the general population, usually by driving below the speed limit and taking fifteen minutes to order a “hamburger sandwich” at McDonald’s. Please see Wilfred Brimley for more on this AARP gang.
Taking this further, of course, is the idea that this was created to bolster Big Oil’s stranglehold on the energy biz by causing the quake that would damage the nuke plants (rather than, say, just damaging only the nuclear plants, with same results). Dick Cheney himself probably flipped the switch on HAARP. Because we all KNOW that Big Oil wants to keep us dependent on oil and the way to do that is to kill thousands of potential customers via some awful SyFy-type mega-earthquake scenario. You know, if every “enemy” was as smart as we think they are, that brain power would eventually cross over for the ‘good’ of mankind, and we’d be living on Mars right now, watching So You Think You Can Dance On Mars? right now,or talking on little phones that could record videos, play games, instant message…wait a minute!
Of course, all of this is possible because if there is one thing that human beings are good at, it is keeping secrets and forming conspiracies. GW Bush did it, so of course anybody can.
The lesson here is that we need to ban the number 11. Bad Things Happy To Good People. Especially on days numbered 11.
11 bad. 25 is…well, you know what it is. Why don’t you tell me.
[disclaimer – of course this post has nothing to do with the real tragic events happening in Japan, except to point out the idiots who buy into every conspiracy theory out there and who disregard any common sense. Yes, bad people are out there with their own self-interests, but if one looks objectively at the details, you know it makes very little sense. If there is a secret government out there running the world, and they read this, please do something about the lobby wait time in Call of Duty: Black Ops. You want to keep me as a sheeple, then solve this. Otherwise, I might get bored with video games and go read a book.]
Here is a link on HuffingtonPost with some links to real people who are organized and helping people in need (of course, always be mindful when selecting a charity – know who you are giving to and what it is being used for).
and I’ll probably delete any stupid comments that come in.
just thinking: there is Slim Fast, the diet shake, and then, during Ramadan, Muslim fasting during the day. So why isn’t there product called MuSlim Fast?
I am not exactly a fan of MSNBC, but I found it refreshing today to see video of Luke Russert actually ask a question of Rangel that ruffled the representative’s feathers. Instead of responding “no” to whether he’s worried about losing his position as representative over the ethics investigation-now-upcoming-trial, Rangel looked a little put off, confused, and seemed more interested in Russert’s inexperience (or youth).
So, what needs to happen is a covert team needs to take a nap, dream, find Rangel, make him dream within a dream and plant inside his stupid brain the idea of resignation!
I guess being a Democrat isn’t as fun when the “dumb questions” are directed to you.
Sort of related to the iPhone 4.0 antennae issue, is that when you drive your old car through a car wash, you might have to remove the antennae (from your car, not the phone). You are welcome for this advice.
Antennaes - we love 'em, even though they don't always work or require special attention.
I’ve been following this story on and off for the past day so I know what I’m talking about. Apple is holding a press conference tomorrow about the super awesome-performing iPhone 4.0.
So, here are some things to look for tomorrow.
1. If Steve Jobs is there, he’ll be in blue jeans, because that was hip some time ago. I’m not a dress prude, but maybe give the denim a rest, gazillionaire.
2. They will congratulate the public for discovering ‘the flaw’ and camera crews will rush the stage while Ryan Secrest appears and announces a brand new game show “So You Think You Can Spot A Design Flaw” where each month, a major tech company totally jacks up their popular products. Rumor has it that next month, the chocolate-covered PS3 will hit stores.
3. According to WSJ, a recall won’t happen. Instead, those with the defective iPhone 4.0 will mail it in, and receive a corrected version – while this may sound like a recall, it isn’t. Apple will tell you it isn’t. They’ll tell you that the SASE they send you isn’t necessarily for your Iphone but that if you get bored, and want to be without a phone for a couple of weeks (send your phone on a vaction, so to speak), then they’ll ask “why not use this envelope to send your phone on a trip?”
Okay, I thought this would be funnier but I’ll still post it and tag it ‘comedy’….anyway, go and read possibilities over at Gizmodo.
MARK WIBERG 